hate!

Aug. 29th, 2010 12:23 am
sakurananachan: (Default)
No one is reading here... so is like screaing in a lonely forest in the middle of fucking nowhere!!
However, sometimes that's exactly what one needs right? What do I need indeed? I feel like everything is always working against me, I can't seem to get a break, nothing works in my favor.
I'm stuck in a fucking job that pays so little and yet I can't seem to find anything better, I can't get my stupid bachelor's degree and I can't have a happy stable relationship!!! i'm doom to have my life always a failure!!!!
I try! I fucking try!! But I just can't find the right anwer anymore!!
i'm mad at God for not being here and at life because it simply sucks, and at my father and my mother for getting a divorce, and ta my sister for having such a perfect relationship and being engaged and fucking mad at my ex for being such a complete asshole, and mad at Ashley for making me sooooooooooooooooo fucking confussed about what I want from her and kissing me and making me doubt myself and fucking mad at myself because I seem to be absolutely stupid in terms of getting what I want!!!!!!!
hyligtkuwrtñoi{wpaiuhlagkuariyewñotu{0
aggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I fucking hate the world!!!
sakurananachan: (Default)
blah... i cannot see the entreies of other... i wonder if it has to do with thsi new layout i choose or a fail on DW rigth now...?
is really not that fun to post here cuz anyways everyboy is over at LJ still, but yeah... what ever i'll figure this shit out...
sakurananachan: (Default)
*looooong sigh*
Okay so... I have been trying to avoid the thought, as if not talking about it would make it go away... and maybe that's why I'm posting it here, that way only me and myslef would know about it, as if making it less of an issue...
But yeah... not going away anytime soon...
I went to my old college to take some stuff I needed to take... for a moment I contemplated of going over to the classrooms and say Hi to old... friends? Were they even friends to me?... But i stopped myself at the end and didn't do it.
however...
Why bother with a long story and explanation that would only serve me as a way of getting it out of my chest... besides I made a promise to him to never talk about it to anybody... it's been... WOW!! 5 years!! time flies when you're missing someone... I think it was mean of him to ask for somehting like that, and sometimes I wonder if he's been respecting the promise... very likely so, since he'll be a priest next year ne?
I wanted to see him, even if just see him... but couldn't find teh courage in me to go peek on a window and see him again so I would have to walk away from it again...
However, we ocassionally, and I do mean very ocassionally, leave off line messages on MSN, just for the fun of it. So apparently, eventho I tried to be as conspicuos about my visit, someone did see me and he ended up finding out about it and called me on it through an off line message.
for the first time I answered with the truth and for the first time he answered like he used to... when we... well, like back in the day...
He said I should go visit again and this time not stop myself and actually go see him, he said he wanted to see me...
This is the reason I wanna leave this place!!! Is not worth teh trouble all over again!! Why can't it be as easy as the first tiem I ran away from him, why ca'nt I just turn around and make a run for it... Will this be the punishment for my sins? Will I atonish them by having to see the result of walking away from them...?
sakurananachan: (moon)
mmmm not all that different from LJ, but I guess is less crowded...
By the way thanks [personal profile] paper_kat  for the code!!
Super recomendation of the week: MUSHISHI!!
Go watch it!! NOW!! No, really I mean it!! Move it and go look it up cuz is an amazing series, very short, which posses for a very abrupt ending, but interesting nonetheless.
Fist it was the manga, which is absolutely the same as the anime, and I really mean the same; then they came up with the Live Action movie wich I'm downloading. If anyone's interested, here's the LINK that is of course, if you speak spanish hehehehe
Well, I guess is not that bad of a page...

sakurananachan: (Default)
Okay... so just trying how this thingy works...
I don't really see why people are coming over here, but then again here I am as well so hehehehe

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